Announcement by A.Z. Fell & co.:
Come one, come all! :) We're having a ball!
But without dancing, because Crowley does not dance. Which is weird because Maggie said she saw him dance! But he doesn't dance now, so we're going to do something even more fun!! We're going to sit on chairs and talk about Christmas lights and opening hours!
If you want to come, drop by the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association Meeting on Saturday 11th! We're open to anyone!
Soooooo I just went by the shop to see what's going on because apparently there's like A PARTY???? :O :O
But the sign on the door said that you need an invite or something and i mean TEEEECHNICALLY i have been invited because the announcement said that everyone is welcome???
so i went in and THEY WERE SITTING IN A CIRCLE AND DRINKING SOMETHING RED FROM WINE GLASSES AND, LIKE, TECHNICALLY I DONT KNOW WHAT A DEMON SUMMONING LOOKS LIKE BUT!!!! BUT!!!
but technically that makes no sense because why would a demon summon another demon when he's missing an angel
WAIT!!!! can you summon angels??? do you drink blood and sit around in a circle to summon angels???
CAN I SUMMON AN ANGEL????
has rated the above review as “Not helpful” 👎
Sounds to me like your average book club. To be fair, from what I gleamed so far, you could very well summon an angel with a book club.
but normal book clubs arent in houses that flash golden so bright that you can see a big large giant white room for a sec
You have a lovely shop! Thank you for hosting and for your hospitality, even after things got a little heated when Mr Crowley said that Mr Arnold's Christmas decorations from last year looked like “Father Christmas is trying to stick his whole head up a reindeer's arse.”
You managed the abrupt ending gracefully. I hope dear Marguerite is doing better. Migraines are painful enough as it is but that seemed far worse than anything I have ever witnessed.
If I may impart an idea: You should add a gardening section in the front of the shop and Mr Crowley could advise customers personally. The fact that he brought little Rudy back from the brink of death is nothing short of magic if I say so myself!
Why do we need to talk about the Christmas lights for 2 hours every month? It's May! We have seven months before that's even relevant!
As for the rubbish collection times... fair enough. They're really inconvenient as is – I'm with the new owner who suggested just throwing the rubbish into the streets if they refuse to pick it up at sensible times. And who then got told to sit on his hands by Nina and had Mr Brown read the entire schedule of penalties for littering to him.
Welcome to our personal hell that is being a shopkeeper in Whickber Street!
I would like to take the time to thank you again for hosting this month's meeting in that quaint little shop of yours! I love what you have done with the place; especially since you seem to have more than tripled the drop-in-customers since you took over for Mr Fell!
But back to the meeting: It was nice that you did provide chairs this time, not like your predecessor. I still have nightmares of that meeting sometimes. I don't even know why – the dancing wasn't that bad.
Be that as it may, I am looking forward to working with our brandnew member and bookshop owner, Mr Crowley! Congratulations on taking the big step into independence and good luck to you and your co-owner Mx Muriel in all your future endeavours!
And thank you for agreeing to host the next meeting too!
has rated the above review as “Helpful” 👍
“Not even at gunpoint,” he said to me once. My, my, how the tables have turned!
Shut up or I'll sic the FSA on you to check for poisoned coffee
Spoken like a true shop owner who looks out for his neighbourhood!
Stop it
As a bookseller, do you have little reading-sunglasses too? And black suede elbow patches for your suit jacket?
You know who you're dealing with, so you know it's not wise to have me as your enemy
What are you gonna do, Mr bookseller? Sell her misprints?
Who asked you to donate your one daily glib comment to Nina's defence???
It is nice to see you have already settled so well into our community!
What is this
Why are you all ganging up on me
You're worse than my old lot
Speaking of old friends of yours... Do you by any chance have the phone number of Mr Fell? I would like to keep in touch, just on a personal level...
You're absolutely not his type
Really? Because I was under the impression that his type would have to be a down-to-earth man with both feet on the ground, who is also an avid reader.
You'd think that. Turns out the “down to/on earth” part is optional, apparently
Seems like he prefers someone who has their head in the clouds whenever he does, too
Still bitter about that, are you?
But at least he agrees that he knows Mr Fell's type!
I think maybe I do after all
Those sketchbooks were something of an eye-opener, huh?
Hey Maggie, he also admitted that Mr Fell's type is very far from Mr Brown. So you might say... somewhat more on the “dark, mysterious bad boy”-side, for example.
I can't imagine Aziraphale would like bad people. He likes very kind people like Crowley!
Muriel, code red! These rabid shopkeepers don't need your help, they're doing very well on their own
Oh, I finally got it!! Is it called “code red” because that's how your face looks when it's time for code red?
has rated the above review as “Not helpful” 👎
Wait a second, what do you mean “thank you for agreeing to host the next meeting too”???
Yes, that was very kind of you!
Kind?! I'll have Nina poison your coffee next time
Don't hold your breath. He must be immune or there'd have been a lot less meetings about stricter opening hours in the past.
So it's agreed that the next meeting will also be in the bookshop and Ms Nina will be providing the drinks!
Hey, wait a second!
now you know what its like
Oh, yayy!! :D Can we host every time???
Of course! Splendid! Thank you! I'll pencil you in for the rest of the year!
Hell is empty and all the devils are here
A belated thank you from me for your wonderful hosting. I apologise for how I had to leave. I don't usually get migraines, so I was completely unprepared. I'm sorry for whatever I said – people have been telling me I was speaking another language. I always fall back into French under stress and the pain was so intense, I cannot even remember.
has rated the above review as “Helpful” 👍
Not French. Not rude. Don't worry about it
Oh, but it must have been. I only speak French and English.
Are your eyes okay again?
Yes, the doctor said it's normal for migraines to cause issues with one's eyes.
Not to glow like that, I don't think.
Like I said, I don't remember anything -- but the things you're saying happened make no sense! If I said something rude, I apologize. You don't need to pretend like you didn't understand.
We really didn't!
Yes, I don't think anyone at the meeting, save Crowley and me, understand Enochian!
I'm sorry, what? I don't even know that language! What did I say?
It wasn't rude, don't worry! You just said: “Pray for the end. Prepare for judgement. Await the second coming.”
De quoi parles-tu?!
I know it sounds really concerning but I'm sure it's all gonna be fine!!
Why on earth would I say that?!?
I was wondering about that, too. Normally, people are chosen very carefully... I think it was just because you were next to me, and all those books of prophecy, and inside an embassy!
migraines do weird things to your head
dont worry about it
dream of whatever you like best
↪ 🐍 SnakeOnABreak
We are, in fact, not open to anyone
We're open to the members of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association because this is a Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association Meeting
As much as I would like to ban some of them from the shop
👮 Inspector_Constable
:( Oh. But you said Maggie could come!
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
Yes
Because Maggie is a member of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association
👮 Inspector_Constable
But you also said you would come!
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
Yes
Because I am a legal guardian of a member of the Whickber Street Shopkeepers and Street Traders Association
👮 Inspector_Constable
But you just said that only members are allowed!
☕ coffee_or_death
It's fine. He's our mascot at this point. And he'll also be bored out of his mind, which I have a feeling might make it less boring for the rest of us.
👮 Inspector_Constable
He is going to make us nibbles!!
🎵 VinylMagnateMaggie
Really? Oh, that is brilliant!! Do you need any help? It's so nice to see you've found a new hobby and you wanna be social!
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
Sure, how else could I poison you lot
☕ coffee_or_death
Adorable. He thinks he can poison the barista who makes his coffee every morning.
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
Oi! Have you been poisoning my coffee?
☕ coffee_or_death
Not since you became the sad girl from Les Misérables.
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
Éponine?! I am 100% more of a Monte Christo if I'm anyone from the depressing-French-fiction shelf!
🎵 VinylMagnateMaggie
I'm surprised you know her name! Or any name from Les Misérables! It doesn't seem like your style.
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
Aziraphale liked the gloomy ones.
☕ coffee_or_death
So you're making unpoisoned canapés, then?
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
Gotta find out
🥸 Browns_World_of_Carpets
Hello! Thank you so much for agreeing to host another meeting! Love the announcement.
Just to make sure we're all on the same page though: Only members of the Shopkeepers' Association are allowed in and all members need to be the legal owners of the shop they represent, which would make them of legal age and therefore not requiring the accompaniment of a legal guardian.
Since the last meeting at your shop was a bit... chaotic, we decided to not let members bring plus ones anymore.
👮 Inspector_Constable
But I'm sure Crowley was looking forward to it!! :(
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
I think I'll manage to not die of a broken heart