it’s like you’ve never heard of the concept of irish coffee and yet somehow managed to fuck it up. if i didn’t have a hangover from yesterday, i would’ve dumped it on a catcaller on the street. but this gnat’s piss seems to have cured my headache, so thanks I guess.
i coludnt tlel the new cofefe is coffee togo-od or badbrew so hda 11 cup s adn now isr ealyl fast btu also bluryr oshit i thnk i frogotto turn fof my ca rwhne ic ame in dyoou thnik i shuodl ahve left iti n gear ro pluled hte prakin gbreak thta one rloling dwon teh raod looks lkie mycar i tihnk i gotat go
Some things, when done to a perfectly good vintage, should be considered a crime. They are not. But there are cases where the legislative powers of this country have let its people down.
loooove the new product! give me a call and i'll be ur new social media manager! we could build a cofine empire together, girl! and i'm not just saying that bc ur new invention has me plastered!! give me a call, nina!!!
Will you finally listen now? You have to hide him!
I thought we’ve carved it out for ourselves. You said so! Then help me protect what we toasted to in the Ritz!
What is going on? Why have I been blocked? Surely you must know by now who I am!
has rated the above review as “Helpful” 👍
I’m so sorry! Crowley suddenly says he is not going to read or answer reviews anymore…
But why? I need his help!
Crowley, are you reading this? Meet me at the second rendez-vous point at 14:45!
I told him, but he says he’s busy :(
Don’t worry about it, dear. I’m sure he’ll be there.
I have checked with the authorities. Apparently, you do not have a food business licence and thus, I must report you to the local authorities. Please desist handing out food in St. James Park immediately!
I appreciate that you were trying to provide a charitable service to the community, and I think that shouldn’t go unnoticed. Just please file the appropriate paperwork beforehand, next time.
has rated the above review as “Not helpful” 👎
what are you on about? we’re a bookshop in soho, not some fish and chips cart in st james park
So you agree that your associate should not be giving out fish in said park?
and i also agree that sock puppets shouldn’t be allowed in the hands of ventriloquists. what is your point
I get the feeling you’ll want to have a word with the young male musician who is employed in your shop.
i am neither a musician, nor male, nor young and if you give muriel any ideas towards number one of these things, we will have words
Why? I love hearing others’ ideas! :)
no. drop it! bad inspector! my nerves are strained enough as is
I thought you’re not reading or answering reviews anymore!
this one evidently turned into an emergency so i made an exception
You were not there. I waited all day and all night, but you didn’t come. You always come through for me.
Crowley, why didn’t you come?
It is kind of your company to hand out food. However, I would appreciate you asking parents first if their children have any dietary restrictions!
has rated the above review as “Helpful” 👍
Thank you for the tip! We don’t plan on branching out into the food business. :) We’re too busy branching out into music!
and we don’t have the manpower to branch out into food in the first place, because we’re about to have to let our only employee go, apparently
:( You said I should do whatever I want!
i was talking about not following orders
not about abusing a bloody kazoo within 20 miles of my ear drums
has rated the above review as “Not helpful” 👎
Y r u restricting little people, man, that’s messed up!
i should have known
do you perchance have anything to do with the weird food-comments we’ve gotten
Yeah, dude, I thought I’d help the hungry and your abysmal business reviews at once. Nice, huh?
what do you mean? have you been telling people you work here?!
Are you saying he does not work for you?
I am sorry to have left this review, then. And to the individual trying to push their responsibility onto presumably hard-working shop-owners: You should be ashamed!
i’d be mad about you taking the time to squeeze “presumably” in there but i can’t say it’s not warranted
Nah, I don’t work! I’ve been telling people I live with you.
what the bloody somewhere are you doing that for?
It’s the only place I’ve been told I live n I don’t know that many other places around here!
i sure as something did not tell you that! and muriel knows they’re not allowed to bring in any more strays since the rat-debacle
They were homeless! :(
yes, that is the most prevalent socio-economic problem in the population of london’s sewer rats as a whole
doesn’t mean we have space for all 15 million of them in my bedroom
Aw, dang, u should so give those poor rat-bros another chance! They can have my space! I kinda really like the peeps at Paddington Station that I stay with atm, so it’s fine!
YOU DON’T HAVE A SPACE
But the owner told me I’d have a home in the bookshop n the current manager would help!
oh for christ’s sake
Yes! Exactly! This is why we needed to meet up yesterday!
you can go to Hell
I am always a huge fan of street food, so when I heard of London’s newest pop-up craze in St. James’ Park, I knew I had to visit! The personnel, made up of only the creator of this fantastic idea and twelve of his friends, is very kind and motivated. Unfortunately not even such a sunny atmosphere in the rainy ambience of our capital can hide the fact that they are rather clumsy in regards to their actual subject matter. Questions about the preparation of the fish I was served were answered with a shrug and a “I don’t know, man, it’s kinda just there” and the lack of cutlery, plates or even paper towels is a little much, even for finger food enthusiasts.
All in all, the fish could have used more salt, a dash of dill and some kind of utensil that would have enabled me to get the bones out of my teeth.
has rated the above review as “Not helpful” 👎
consider the good service of not choking on them though
Banning me from using an account to communicate with you will not make me go away, Crowley! You have made your point. You are upset with me. Be that as it may – don’t you think it’s a tad hypocritical of you to always try to run away when I try to protect the very thing you very insistently suggested I should want to protect?
You can be mad at me all you want. But I won’t have you throw away all the risks we took to carve out our precious, little existence. And just out of sheer spite against me making a decision you suddenly decided you don’t agree with!
So if you’re the hero of the apocalypse that I always saw you as – that you always pretended to be… Protect him!
No matter how you have apparently contorted my motives in your head, I did what I did for three reasons only: For me. For all of them. And for someone who once risked his very existence to question the fate of the stars. Someone who asked me to betray my side, while betraying his own with all the sacrifices that entailed, to take a chance on a young boy and the good we could do together.
I trusted you enough to take your hand. Now take mine.
has rated the above review as “Helpful” 👍
I have been told to “blockade” you. I’m so sorry. :(
I see.
I can’t say I understand, but I see.
I was at the food-event yesterday and there haven’t been any options that work with my diet plan for a competition I am working towards. And my friend has a fish allergy and didn’t get anything either. We’d like to order something for tomorrow so that doesn’t happen again.
I also hate crowded spaces, so I checked with the city. They said that 5000 people is way too many to invite to just one entrance gate of the park, and you didn’t register the event with the council, so they’ll be fining you.
So you see, you could really do a lot for your reputation if you stop giving away only boring fish and dry bread. Just saying. I won’t be revoking my bad review otherwise.
has rated the above review as “Not helpful” 👎
I’m not doing the thing again tomorrow. That was just because a bunch of peeps were hungry.
Then maybe make that clear beforehand, next time? Now me and my friend both had to arrange our plans around the whole event for nothing! We could have gotten concert tickets instead!
I don’t get it. Y is everyone upset? We did a cool thing for free and everything.
Oh, don’t worry. :) That’s perfectly normal. When I first came here, people were upset at me for no reason, too!
I wouldn’t call walking into my shop and asking invasive questions about my personal life “no reason.”
See, @JezzyGJr.? At first they were upset and now I’m best friends with them!
“Best friends” are strong words for someone who insisted on helping me clean my new French press against my will and then promptly dropped it.
@JezzyGJr. And I learnt from Crowley that a grumpy comment like that means someone cares for you!
Are you even reading what I am writing?
it does not even remotely mean that
Yeah, no shit it doesn’t!
@Inspector_Constable U think so? Everyone always seems so pissed!
maybe because you’re insufferable
That’s just because they don’t know how to properly express themselves and are too shy to admit it. :)
Are we being ganged up on by Muriel???
they’re just one person, how can they gang up on two people?
Thx. I guess I feel a little better now.
@SnakeOnABreak, he is just as confused as we were when we first got here. Could he maybe stay with us for a little while, please?
@coffee_or_death i’m being ganged up on
help
Just say no.
Pretty please? He can have my tea-cup, so yours is still yours and you won’t even notice he’s here!
And that sad reviewer you keep blocking also seems to be really sad you won’t take @JezzyGJr. in. :(
Yes! Please! I can’t do this without you. I need you! For all of their sakes!
Pleeeeeease?
ugh fine
but only because it’s you asking, muriel. nothing else
:))) Thank you!!!
See @JezzyGJr.? He’s just too shy to admit why he really does or says things. :)
shut up
Oh, thank you!
do i have to do everything myself around here? even using the “ban” button? I told you how to do it @Inspector_Constable
:( I thought maybe you didn’t actually want him unable to talk to you…!
i definitely do
Please, just hear me out!
has rated the above review as “Helpful” 👍
I’m supposed to tell you he’s not talking to you. Sorry. :(
This is not talking; this is writing!
Crowley, answer me!
Honestly now! You’re being ridiculous!
Crowley, please!
I brought an umbrella to the rendez-vous spot, yesterday. Because you always think you won’t look as dapper as you usually do if you carry one. And when I bring mine, it means we can stand underneath it together.
When it started pouring, I couldn’t bring myself to open it. Because I might make a fuzz about it being my umbrella, but it’s not meant for me alone anymore.
You didn’t come...
Why?
Please, tell me! You always come.
What do I have to do for you to forgive me?
you know
I can’t do that, Crowley. You know I can’t.
I love you too much to let everything we fought for be destroyed.
↪ 🐍 SnakeOnABreak has rated the above review as “Not helpful” 👎
what about the name “A.Z. Fell & Co. Est. 1800, Antiquarian Bookshop” made all of you think this is nina’s coffee shop?
🫖 Boyhunter-Boyle
Oh, Nina told all of us to divert our reviews of her new red coffee to this page. 9/10 for mouthfeel, but 4/10 for taste, by the way. I think you could maybe do a little better with a 2018er and a hint of parsley; that’s a body you’d love to get your mouth on!
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
you can hear how that last bit sounds, right?
parsley? red coffee?? what the earth has she done now?
🚓 Det.Amy.Santiago
Brewed her coffee with wine instead of water. And according to her, “this is all the fault of the goth bookseller next door.”
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
how is it my fault she finally snapped?!
☕ coffee_or_death
It’s that weird gang of 13 kids in their 30s you kicked out of your shop! They’re hanging out at mine now and suddenly my taps spew wine!
🐍 SnakeOnABreak
jesus christ
☕ coffee_or_death
Yes. That’s what I’m afraid of.